Five Things I Hate About Luxury Cruises

I love cruise travel. I honestly do, but there are just a few minor things that annoy me each and every time I embark on a ship.

My Top Five Cruising Pet Peeves

I have a name too. On every single cruise I've ever been on, all correspondence to our suite—invitations to an officer's table for dinner, for example—are always addressed to Mr. and Mrs. Leonard Hospidor. Why is that? I'm the one that booked the cruise. The credit card that paid for the cruise is in my name. Why do I never got a nod and get my name listed on anything?! I realize that cruise lines are sticking to an old etiquette tradition, but times have changed. Studies indicate that it's the woman that controls most travel decisions in a household. She selects the destination, the cruise line, works out the arrangements with the travel agent, etc. So cruise lines, give us girls our props and address both the husband and wife (even if the woman has a different last name than her husband, which is pretty normal these days).

I can carry my own plate. Seriously. When I'm older and less steady on my feet, I'm sure I'll appreciate the mad dash waiters make to carry my plate from the buffet line to my table. If I'm in my bathing suit and just ordered a hamburger from the pool grill, I really can carry the plate back to my lounge chair. If I decline your offer to help, please accept it. (Of course, if the seas are rough and it's an issue of safety for those around me, I'll of course let you carry my plate.)

Formal, Semi-Formal, Elegant Casual, Country Club Casual. Gah! Every cruise line uses slightly different terminology when referring to its evening dress code. Could we try to standardize the nomenclature? The term "elegant casual" drives my husband crazy. How does it differ from Country Club Casual? Can he wear a golf short on those evenings or not? I think each cruise line should simply show photographs of smartly dressed travelers with a caption that says, "These outfits meet our standards for Elegant Casual evenings."

Teetotalers would like a beverage served with dinner too. I realize that the main concern of the sommelier is bringing the best wines possible to the table. However, some of us don't drink alcoholic beverages (even when on all-inclusive cruises). When I ask for an ice tea, please bring me one. Must I ask two or three times? Also, please refill my drink. If there's wine in my husband's glass, there should be ice tea in mine.

Longer hours for the hot tub, please. Why bother having a hot tub onboard if you close it at 6 pm? Could you at least let guests enjoy the whirlpool after dinner for a few hours?

So there you have it. The five things I hate about luxury cruising. What are your cruise ship pet peeves?

—Andrea M. Rotondo for LuxuryCruiseBible.com